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Healthy & Unhealthy Relationships

Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Navigating the world of romantic, flirting, or hook-up relationships can be tricky and confusing but by thinking about what kind of relationships you want to have is an important exercise and can help steer you toward healthier relationship options.

Scarleteen.com has all kinds of articles on sex education and relationships. Heather Corinna’s article lists these signs of a healthy relationship that are good for all ages:

  1. We communicate
  2. We respect each other’s limits and boundaries
  3. We make decisions that are about the relationship jointly and actively, and we honor our agreements and take responsibility for them
  4. We're flexible, and have realistic expectations of each other and the relationship.
  5. We each get to be our own person
  6. We trust each other
  7. We value each other’s outside relationships
  8. We address and resolve conflict soundly
  9. We are safe
  10. We are equals

Read the full article here


Unhealthy Relationships

There are also warning signs of unhealthy relationships which are really important to pay attention to. According to Break the Cycle (breakthecycle.org), the ten most common red flags are:

  1. Checking your cell phone or email without permission
  2. Constant put-downs
  3. Extreme jealousy or insecurity
  4. Explosive temper
  5. Isolating you from family or friends
  6. Making false accusations
  7. Mood swings
  8. Physically hurting you in any way
  9. Possessiveness
  10. Telling you what to do

Learn more about unhealthy relationships:


Stalking

The Stalking Resource Center is a project of the National Center for Victims of Crime, they list these as "Some things stalkers do":

  1. Follow you and show up wherever you are
  2. Send unwanted gifts, letters, cards, or e-mails
  3. Damage your home, car, or other property
  4. Monitor your phone calls or computer use
  5. Use technology, like hidden cameras or global positioning systems (GPS), to track where you go
  6. Drive by or hang out at your home, school, or work
  7. Threaten to hurt you, your family, friends, or pets
  8. Find out about you by using public records or online search services, hiring investigators, going through your garbage, or contacting friends, family, neighbors, or co-workers
  9. Posting information or spreading rumors about you on the Internet, in a public place, or by word of mouth
  10. Other actions that control, track, or frighten you

More Information on Stalking

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Under Title IX, sexual violence is a severe form of sexual harassment. Sexual violence is unacceptable and will not be tolerated at the University of New Mexico. Sexual violence may be committed by a stranger, an acquaintance or someone with whom the victim is involved in an intimate or sexual relationship. Victims of sexual violence are encouraged to report what happened to law enforcement and seek assistance from any of the resources, on and off campus, listed in this publication. 

Please contact UNM's Title IX Coordinator, Heather Cowan, at hbcowan@unm.edu for more information about Title IX.